My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
