I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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