we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
