I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
