Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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