i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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