so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
