is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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