Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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