as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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