Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize