I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes