p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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