My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.