Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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