sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize