The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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