I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So much Jack, so little girl.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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