We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
