ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
