there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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