i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there was a trapeze. enough said
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up under a house in Key West
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