Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
