obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i now understand why vodka
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
