You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
