OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
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you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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