they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't deserve a penis
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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