You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
