dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
