C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
