Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
