found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
