You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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