Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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