Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
