Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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