Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
