the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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