I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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