I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
