Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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