she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
