i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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