I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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