Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am available for nakedness
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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