I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
