if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
