yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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