Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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