Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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