Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
