We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
