did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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