the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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