I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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