Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
