i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
