Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
