Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
