Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
