I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need water and some morals
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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