It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
