i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
