He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
