it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
