My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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