u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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