I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
